The American Gangsta: Purple Barney

This is the untold story of the American gangsta Purple Barney. We all know him as the goofy dinosaur on the kids show "Barney and Friends." Behind the scenes Barney is one of the most notorious American Gangstas on the mean streets of Chicago. First off Barney can't shoot dice, his arms are too short and he never could pick the money off the ground. He wears size 30 timberland steel toe boots. He also wears a diamond chain with a "B" on it. In fact I saw him the other day, he was on the corner selling drugs to Oscar the Grouch from Sesame street. I was surprised to see this dude out of his trashcan. Barney's sidekick, Baby Bop was posted up with him on the corner looking for cops. Barney's product was called "Purple Magic." I saw one of the baggies that Barney puts the drugs in, it had a picture of him on the front with his trademark goofy smile.

It gets even better, four cop cars rolled up on them out of nowhere. This dude Barney starts singing the theme song from the show "Good Times." All the officers stood there and then they started dancing and singing along with him. I even caught myself tapping my foot. This is crazy! Barney has something in him that will make the toughest gangsta dance with him. Needless to say the cops let him go. I was surprised to find out that Barney had enemies. This red and yellow car pulls up and then this puppet looking dude gets out and starts shooting at Barney and Baby Bop.

Barney and Baby Bop jumped behind a purple Suburban and started shooting back. Barney had an Oozy and he was nasty with it! He actually started yelling and running towards the car shooting and destroyed the car and whoever was in it. Barney shot the puppet that was shooting at him and killed him. I looked closely and I just realized that Barney killed the yellow dude from "Fraggle Rock!" Man it was nuts! Barney and Baby Bop sped away in the purple suburban. Are you guys ready for this one? The kids from Barney's show came out of nowhere and cleaned up the mess Barney left. The kids threw the dead Fraggle in the car and set it on fire. I heard that Barney skipped town for a while and set up shop in New York City. One of my friends knows Barney very well and Barney sent him a picture of himself, Baby Bop and Flavor Flav!! There you have it Barney: The real American Gangsta!